i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
