Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
