He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
