Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
