Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Never joke about your clitoris.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
