hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize