so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
