Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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