where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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