Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
