so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
