she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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