After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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