Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
