We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
