I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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