I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
