Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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