i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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