She is in my trunk
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
