Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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