I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My vagina just recognized that song.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
