last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
