No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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