? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
