Do vagina's smell?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
