well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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