My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
