My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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