oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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