I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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