so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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