If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
