OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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