If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
