girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
