i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
