Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
