So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
