I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
