what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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