eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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