I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize