Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
