dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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