If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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