I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
