I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
