i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
