Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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