i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
