you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
