Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
