Soap is not a condiment
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize