I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
